Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Man Transforms Into Goat and Goes on Midget Killing Rampage

A man from Wisconsin was driving through Green Bay around 11 AM EST when he passed a local fortune teller, Madame Pruciella. Madame Pruciella was apparently very bitter and full of hatred toward the human race this morning. We suspect she woke up on the wrong side of the park bench. When she saw the man passing she had had enough, she had to curse somebody.
"The truck was such an ugly shade of green; like a shade a malnurished person gets in their urine." So as it passed she set an ancient Hungarian curse on the man. He was soon involved in a wreck when his hoof missed the brake and hit the gas instead. Fortunately, he was a goat, and as we all know goats eat everything. Before the firemen could get the jaws of life to the scen the man, now goat, ate his way out and saved the driver of the other car.
As the man galloped down the street, he saw a midget talking to himself. Of course, this was obviously the man who had cursed him.
This man was Gary Rubbec. He was in fact talking on a handsfree headset. The goat did not care, or notice and he gored Gary who died as the goat attempted to run away; Gary's intestines were stuck to the goat's horns. The goat was capture at 10 PM EST and is currently being questioned. He is suspected in the gorings and deaths of five other dwarfs.